


People On the Edge of the Night

by i_amthecosmos



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Depression, Insomnia, M/M, Spooning, just talking, meds adjustment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-23
Updated: 2016-07-23
Packaged: 2018-07-26 05:23:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7562056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_amthecosmos/pseuds/i_amthecosmos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry can't sleep, which means Louis can't sleep either.</p>
            </blockquote>





	People On the Edge of the Night

**Author's Note:**

> Just a tiny thing, for the hurt/comfort bingo challenge. Love that thing, one of the reasons I still have an LJ account.

Louis woke up, blinking in the dim light. He looked at his phone-it was after three am. He heard another noise, from the kitchen, and sighed, shoving the covers off. He headed towards the noise, hoping he didn’t startle the person making it. “Hey,” he called out before he came into the kitchen. “Bad night?”

Harry looked over at him, eyes bleary and slumped over a cup of tea. “Can’t sleep,” he said. “Fucking medication, I guess.” Louis pulled out a chair next to Harry and sat down. 

“I guess,” he said. “You don’t seem to be doing too well on this new med, I don’t think.” Harry took a shaky sip of tea-some fancy organic herbal tea for sleep-and grunted his agreement. “Have you told your doctor?”

“I have, but she said to give it another few weeks. It’s like this a lot, apparently. But I have to sleep sometime. And now I’m waking you up.” Harry put his cup down a bit too hard. 

“I don’t mind that. We’re on break anyway. I just hate to see you like this, I like seeing you happy. I’m glad you’re getting help, but it’s making you even more miserable. It’s not right.” Louis reached over and softly stroked Harry’s arm. He looked fragile, sitting on his white kitchen chair in his pants and nothing else, hunched over his tea. 

“I’m doing the best I can,” Harry said. “And I wasn’t always happy, I was masking. You know that. You know how bad it can get.” Louis dropped his hand.

“Yeah, I know,” Louis finally said. “It always scared me, but I thought you had it under control. You waited a long time to try to get help, so I figured you didn’t need it.” He remembered the times Harry was low, and he always figured he would rally after a few bad nights. But then the good times became less common, and the bad times more, until Harry wound up at his doctor’s.

“It could be a lot worse than I let on, even to you,” Harry said. “I’m sorry. I know you don’t like hearing that.” Louis didn’t say anything, but he got up to get himself a cup. He was going to need some tea as well, if they were talking about this.

When he got a cup, he sat back down. “I guess not,” he said. “I just wanted you to be better, but I thought maybe talking about it with me would be enough.” He remembered how Harry would come to him in the night, when experiencing a down spell, and how honored he felt that Harry trusted him with it. 

“Don’t feel bad about that,” Harry said. “It’s depression, it can’t be cured just because you love me. Doesn’t work like that.” Harry sipped more tea, looking off into the distance. Christ, he looked knackered.

“Well it fucking should,” Louis snapped, then took a sip of his tea. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t do that, you’re tired. I just wish you were okay.”

“I’m better in some ways,” Harry said as he finished his tea. “But it’s so hard, having to take something and then it stops working. Then I get something else. Better than pretending nothing was wrong, though. I know you liked being the only person, you know, that I talked about it to. But it wasn’t good for me.”

“I guess not,” Louis said, and he felt Harry touch his arm. Harry did tell the others, but not until he started getting treatment. “I liked being that person, but yeah. I guess it couldn’t be enough. I’m glad you got help. I just wish it was actually helping.” 

“Maybe it will.” Harry was mumbling more than usual, maybe ready to sleep at last, and Louis slid in closer to put an arm around. “I want to go back to bed,” Harry said, voice tiny, and Louis helped him up, cutting off the light in the kitchen and walking him back in the dark.

“I keep thinking one day this will all be over,” Harry said, and Louis tensed. “That it’ll go away, aha, I’m cured. It never does.” Harry got back into bed and Louis curled up behind him. 

“No,” Louis answered. “I’m sorry. But you still keep trying.” He hoped for it too-the day that his Harry was all sweetness with the dark parts entirely erased. But, he supposed, the dark places were part of what made Harry Harry, and maybe he’d never be entirely without them. 

“I have to,” Harry said, punctuated with a yawn. “I don’t want to feel like that. Okay, I’m going to try to sleep. Night Lou.” 

“Night pumpkin,” Louis said, and he held on to Harry as he tried to hold still and breathe deeply. The problem with trying to go to sleep, Louis thought, was the trying kept you awake. But after a while Harry seemed to even out, and then it was Louis’s turn to try. 

When Louis woke up the next morning, it was to an empty bed. He jumped out and went to look for Harry, worried. He found him in the TV/movie room, curled up on the couch with their cat Merry. When he entered the room, Harry blinked at him. “Hey,” he said, voice thick. “I slept about four hours, I think. Better than before, yeah?”

“Better than before,” Louis said, taking it as the step forward it was. “I’m going to make some toast, do you want some?” 

“Yes, wholemeal toast please, with avocado. And don’t burn it.” Louis sniffed, offended, and went to do as commanded. He could hear Harry talking to Merry as he got the bread out, and grinned. Harry had his ups and downs, but he was the only person Louis could love like this, he was sure.


End file.
